Fear of Truth....

As kids everyone is naughty and carefree. Many situations come when we do things which bring us in a danger zone and then we  keep on exploiting our minute brains to be safe again....
What can i say about myself...i usually surpassed the limits of mischief. My parents dint have the option to disown me, otherwise i would have definitely been said 'Gudbye" by them. Anyways, after committing any mistake, creating problem, destroying something, in short after having all the fun i would lie so well that even i wouldn't believe that i could ever do anything like that. Even after being taught so many times that "we should not speak lie" ; i would never leave this habit because it was so convenient and easy.

Time kept on passing by but i failed to understand the real sin in speaking lie. i always felt what's the harm when one can be saved while not revealing correct details but still i started to adopt this habit of speaking truth because of pressure by parents and peers. so, juggling with the laws of people; law of good and bad; with my own questions i came in my teen-age where i started to question and reason every possible thing.

One day i was sitting with my grand mom and was having a nice time. She was telling me about her initial stages of life- childhood or marriage. Then, she was giving me advice of being a good person, responsible, truthful etc etc. then i just asked her what is so good about speaking truth???

She just looked at me and smiled....That smile had so many meanings, so much essence.
She just asked me one question-
Would you like to be with a person who is not caring enough to tell you things correctly???
Would you trust that person??? Would you respect that person???

In return of my one question i got Three; but somehow i felt i had got all the answers. Somehow, i got the reason why i should NOW accept this quality from my heart and soul. Truth's truth was in front of me bright and clear.
It was not that these few questions enlightened me ; but the conflict going on inside my head; the rebuttal which was going on with in me ...was calm now. This incident became a reason to satisfy my eagerness to have a stable and just answer.

Even after so many years whenever i am in a fix i just rewind in my head my Grand mom's Talisman and not Gandhi's Talisman(which we all must have read at some point of time in life...)
and the easy part is now i dont have to push myself to speak truth because it comes from within.

And the BEST part about speaking Truth is that I know how much of courage is required to speak it...so, whenever someone confesses something to me...or just simply says it...I Respect it !

I feel that mistake has been overshadowed by the purity of action and hence everything becomes easy.

Trust me...Life becomes easy!!

!

Fear of countless Numbers....

Exams have always been the most exciting part of school days. 

No scope of sleeping early or getting up late...evening time for

 play, suddenly becomes a Dream !!!

Study...exams...of anything can be handled...but when the 

subject became MATHEMATICS...headaches, stomach aches,

Heart aches etc etc used to crawl in my Body... I am so sure

of this fact that i have not done so much of Bargaining with God

 for any other subject(... Bargaining-> A deal between Me and

 God for not asking for anything else if my this exam goes well...)

                                                    So, coming back to the point..it was the Autumns of '96..when i was expected to  appear for   this Ice candy exam and to add to my terror

my  Dad was going to teach me because my Mom was busy (.. how 

could you let this thing happen to me mom? Left me alone to study 

maths and that too with dad...a religious lover of Maths...showing

every possible creativity in solving questios...with not only one 

method but with min. of 4-5 methods..because verification of

 understanding of maths can only be done by doing maths more 

and all the more...)

so, on that Sunday afternoon he started with the first chapter -TIME..and

the actual Time refused to pass. He took my three 'IAS' level tests of that

chapter in the end and made me understand and redo That ONE question

which i did wrong in complete 1.5hrs.. When my mom came she realized till 8

in the evening i have done PhD in 'TIME' but know nothing else (not to mention

the scoldings i was showered with) and then as a life Saviour she took me. She 

gave me a break of half an hour and taught everything else.

I actually passed nicely in that exam but kept on facing this fear of 

Maths. Then one day a New 

teacher---Maths Sir came to our class.

 He was just so cute...

and i was Super-duper impressed with him but how to impress 

him was the question. unlike his sweet looks, he was very 

tough in dealing with his Dear subject-Maths. so, i started 

studying maths day in and out. I satrted discussing problems of

 maths with my DAD!!! Later on..slowly n slowly my Fear

 Started transforming into my Curosity and then in actual 

My Passion....Definately i succeeded in my plan of impressing

 Sir but now, more than sir, i waited for the topic he will teach. 

Now, after so many years of that incident i feel...it was not my

 fear of Maths but my Ignorance towards it which made me scared....

                              Now m happy and have done Graduation in Maths !!!

Fear of Unknown Creatures...

Woods are lonely dark and deep...
I have many promises to keep...
Miles to go before i sleep....Miles to go before i sleep......

Sleep ....Its just a necessity but for me it has always been a luxury. Technically its the best thing i do in the whole day!!!
BUT...the story changed when i was given my independent room in class V th and i started feeling Scared while going to sleep.

My dolls , My Teddy Bears started appearing different at night. I would always open my eyes slowly to see if anyone is there....Any GROTESQUE...HORRIBLE...SCARY Creature with million eyes, coal black teeth and skin of bark of tree.
I used to get very uncomfortable and dint know how to get over this FEAR of mine. Then, one day i saw a deadly episode of Zee Horror Show which was like icing on the (fear)cake...But its price was paid by my parents and sibling. They were supposed to be with me until I sleep everyday + they had to accompany me till the door of the washroom and respond to me whenever i asked-"Mumma Are You There?"

 Then one day my English teacher was teaching a poem named "DRACULA" and its wordings were something like this-

I have a dragon living on my window,
                      I have witch living in my closet,
I have a Dracula living behind my curtains,
                      I have a mummy lying down under my bed;
So, i all i have Four servants of my own!!!
                   Dragon is supposed to clean my room and make it dirt free
and, witch helps him with her special Broom....
                  Dracula is supposed to clean my closet and take out every possible bubbling!
When, i come tired from school, every work has to be finished;
            otherwise, i will not give them food and beat them with their brooms.
 oh, i forgot to state that my lazy 'mummy' is supposed to do my body massage...
           ha ha..its so much fun to live with these useless creatures!!!

and then, i said to myself ... Enough is Enough!...i will make any creature which comes near me to do all my homework clean the room etc. and if they don't do...I will beat them with my stick!!!


            Later , as i grew up i realized , at most what a ghost can do.....it can kill me...OK, one day i have to die anyways, but i wont be scared anymore and live my life to the fullest, without getting Scared!!!


and Trust me...LiFe is much more Easier and it belongs to me....

Thought for the Day

"The only thing we have to fear is fear it'self - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." ---- FDR - First Inaugural Address, March 4, 1933